Challenge
by Strifegirl27
Summary: some of Jake's thoughts prior to leaving for Pandora, set in the few brief moments we see him mourning his dead brother. This is a one shot which may become a series of one shots. Rated T, just in case


Hello fellow FanFictioners!

It's that time again! Time for me to write down a random drabble I have had bouncing in my head. We are thrust into the story with the background that Jake's identical twin brother has died and he is going to take his place. This really struck me when I was watching the movie. Having a sibling myself, I wondered what his reaction to his brother's death would be, would I make the same decisions if I were in his place? Was he mad? Glad? Sad? What was our beloved Jake thinking in those few brief moments during the opening scenes when he sees his dead brother? These questions kept nagging at me, and since I was bored I decided to give them a voice. Hopefully the result is an as accurate as possible account of what Jake might be thinking.

Oh and I don't own Avatar (obviously), though it would be epically cool if I did! :D

Well any ways, hope you guys like it. Enjoy!

Challenge

It is eerie and weird at best, devastating at worst. But mostly it's simply horrible seeing him lie there, motionless. It's worse knowing that it should be me. The cold face that was identical to my own should be m y face, not his. I should be lying on that gurney. I'm the dumb one, the dangerous one, the risk taker, Tom always played it smart, after all he was the scientist. So why was it that he's dead and I am very much alive? What cruel joke is this? I have nothing left to live for, and Tom had everything to live for, yet here I was looking at his lifeless body.

I feel a wave of guilt wash over me, and some part of me wishes that life had more justice. If fate had determined one of our deaths why couldn't it have been mine? Maybe it's because I'm alive that Tom is dead....maybe I was supposed to die in that Venezuelan bush. If one of us had to die, maybe it's my fault that Tom is dead, because I was supposed to die and I didn't. But that was always a fault of mine, not doing what I was told. Tom was the good kid, the one who followed the rules, he made a great scientist. I wasn't surprised in the least when he told me about his once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get off this hell of a planet. He worked hard, he was so smart and he deserved a chance at a good life, with a good job....a life with a purpose. Me, I'm just a dumb grunt. I was Tom's polar opposite, even though we were identical twins. He got good grades, I barely graduated. He did what he was told, I did what I wanted. He got amazing jobs and promotions; I got missions and a gun. But it was fair, he got his just rewards, and I got mine. Until now, everything is screwed up now.

Tom was supposed to head out to Pandora next week, but now, he's dead, dead for a couple of bucks in his wallet. He was walking down the street and bam! He's dead. I had faced hell and worse and lived to tell about it, yet he walks down the street and is killed. People tell me its fate, destiny and some people have the nerve to tell me it's a miracle. "At least you can take his place", "What are the chances?", "You are so lucky" they tell me. It takes all the discipline in me not to punch them then and there. To be honest, I don't want Tom's spot on his Pandora mission, and I don't want his avatar. I just want him back, him and the way life used to be. I want him to call me and bore me to death with his science talk. I want to have a simple, clear cut mission with no questions asked. I want to be able to use my legs.

I sigh and tune into what the two guys from the Avatar Program are telling me as I wrench my eyes away from Tom's lifeless form and my silent wishes. "....and the pay is good. Very good." One of them says, as if that matters to me. My brother is dead and they are trying to convince me to take his place with money, these guys are so stupid. I knew I was going to inevitably end up getting dragged into whatever they were trying to sell me. The money doesn't matter to me, but Tom's dream does. It feels wrong, not to finish what he started. Tom had put so much of himself into this project, not to mention countless hours of his time. Besides, what do I have to lose? Maybe Pandora will offer me some new challenge that everyone will tell me I can't do. Then, of course I will be forced to prove them all by doing it. It's what I have always done. Doctors said I wouldn't live, but I did. They said I wouldn't be able to live without being hooked up to machines, but they turned the machines off. They said I wouldn't be able to sit up, to feed myself, to use a regular wheel chair, but here I am.

So Pandora, I offer you the challenge. Give me something I can't do, and I will gladly prove you wrong.

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So there is my random drabble! Tell my what you think: Love it? Hate it? Let me know! :)


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